


unsolicited soliloquy

by lemon_lullabies



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Meaningless Fluff, Plotless, Stream of Consciousness, aka me projecting, and being gay, just gon thinking about killua, pining Gon, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27614344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_lullabies/pseuds/lemon_lullabies
Summary: Just a few hundred words about Gon being gay and in love. Takes place during their separation. For all your soft pining Gon needs.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	unsolicited soliloquy

There are two types of confusing things in the world, Gon decides. The first type makes your head hurt. It makes you feel like your skull is melting, like your brain will start dripping out your ears like heated wax. It makes you want to slam your forehead repeatedly into the nearest solid surface as if maybe manually moving those braincells will get them to understand the situation at hand. Things that fall under this first category include but are not limited to: math, science, nen basics, math, baking, math, Aunt Mito’s lectures, and math. Did he mention math? God, Gon hates math.

The second type of confusing thing still twists your brain in circles, but in a pleasant way. These things are nice to think about. They’re the kind of things you find your mind drawn to in moments of quiet. The things your brain keeps coming back to several times a day. You know, those things you get lost in thought about so easily. Take, for instance, the moment just after you wake up. You’re laying there, eyes closed, blanket pulled over your head to block out the sunlight, giving yourself five more minutes to enjoy the moment. And then you’re daydreaming, playing whole situations out in your mind, writing stories in the fuzzy darkness behind your eyelids, and suddenly it’s twenty minutes later and you’re still in bed. That’s confusing thing type two, and they tend to revolve around emotions. For Gon, they tend to revolve around Killua.

Okay but really, Killua’s just so distracting! There’s so much to think about with Killua. So many memories to relive, so many new scenarios to imagine. Gon closes his eyes and realms upon realms of Killuas are painted against the backdrop of his subconscious. Killua, flushing pale pink and slapping Gon’s hands away. Killua, silhouetted in the starlight, shadows creeping along his cheekbones. Killua, caught in a moment of genuine delight, laughing without restraint. Killua, asking Gon which outfit goes better. (Gon, not caring, because Killua looks pretty no matter what.) Killua, laying down in a field of vibrant wildflowers, hair fanned around his face, the colors contrasting shockingly against his pale skin as though he was part of a painting. Killua, Killua, Killua.

As Gon sits at the top of the hill with Aunt Mito, pulling weeds from the garden, his mind runs away from him again. He clutches the array of displaced unsightly foliage in one hand while pulling and adding to the pile with his other, and as the handful grows, he imagines it as a dilapidated bouquet. Then he imagines giving Killua a bouquet. Then he imagines wandering through acres upon acres of flowers to create the perfect combination of flora to represent Killua. Then he imagines weaving lush blossoms into Killua’s silvery strands. Killua, an evening angel. Killua, lovelier than any summer rose.

Gon’s hand tightens around his handful of weeds while lost in his reverie and he winces, thistles from a particularly prickly one biting into his palm. This must be his penance for getting lost in Killua-land again. A fair price to pay.

Gon dumps his dilapidated handful into a larger pile and continues his mindless weeding. He doesn’t even _try_ to stop his thoughts from circling back to a certain someone. Gon imagines Killua sitting next to him, snatching stubborn weeds with wild abandon. He pictures Killua tightening his grip and biting his tongue as he works at an especially obstinate plant, the force of his yanks causing starlit curls to flounce onto his face. He can visualize the flush of frustration on Killua’s features until he finally succeeds, and a breathtaking, triumphant grin erupts across his lips. That’s when Killua would notice Gon’s attention and push him away playfully, calling him out for staring. And then they would dissolve into laughter, and Gon would remember the feeling of Killua’s hand on his shoulder for the rest of eternity. 

After Gon finishes pulling the last few weeds at his current location, he falls dramatically onto his back, smushing the grass with his splayed body. He studies the clouds and finds that they remind him of Killua. (Everything reminds him of Killua.) Soft and fluffy and uncontrollable like Killua’s hair. Gon imagines running his fingers through Killua’s hair. He envisions holding Killua’s hands, laying those delicate hands along his own chest, letting Killua feel his heartbeat. He thinks about how Killua could snatch that heartbeat away in mere seconds. He knows that Killua never would. Gon murmurs to himself, not for the first time, that Killua is the most beautiful person in the world.

After a long moment, Gon finally stands to go back inside, brushing dirt off his pants, and wonders if this is love.

**Author's Note:**

> this was essentially just stress relief for me! school is making me lose my mind on the daily...... only a few more weeks until the semester is over.....
> 
> this was loosely inspired by WindyQ's "Til Death Do Us Part," give it a read! very short and cute <3


End file.
